When the COVD-19 shutdown had just begun and we all were awash in hilarity around having not put on real pants for two weeks, a discussion begun amongst some of my friends about the purpose of a robe.
What is a robe for? One friend asked. When would you wear it? When is the moment when you aren’t wearing clothes but you need to wear something?
The number of us who were touting the benefits of the robe was surprisingly in the minority. The three of us pro-robers were almost speechless in how to defend a garment we found so essential to our everyday being. How do you explain needing a warm hug to someone who doesn't see the value in it?
Over the past six months I have had more time than I ever imagined to ponder on what my robe means to me. So, without further ado, I present my Ode to a Robe:
O robe, you are there for me each morning, as I lament the loss of my warm bed, you give me a warm hug as I stumble to through making my French press coffee (and you quietly rebel with me against the mechanization of my favorite morning beverage).
O robe, you provide me with ample pockets, large enough for my iPhone & bluetooth speaker to live in while they soothe me awake with NPR's Morning Edition.
O robe, I hate the moment I have to take you off for the day and put on real clothes. I leave you on a moment too long while I put sunless tanner on my white legs and sunscreen on my freckled arms and quietly swear as I see I've gotten some on you. O robe, I wish quarters were not in such short supply right now as washing you is not as easy as it used to be.
O robe, you grant me the priviledge me to stay in you for a few more minutes while I do my hair.
O robe, I miss you all day at work while I think, how did I manage to be one of the few non-essential people at work right now when my goal all along was to find a job I could do without changing out of my robe?
O robe, the moment I get home I rush to the bathroom to change out of my work clothes and you're there: soft, unassuming, nonjudging as I decide I just don't have the energy to possibly put on sweatpants.
O robe, you carry all of the necessary condiments as I assemble my meal to be eaten while watching the Married at First Sight.
O robe, at the end of the day I realize you definitely do need to be washed and I'll have to go a day without you until I can get to it.
O robe, the day without you is always the worst. Because, dear robe, you are a warm hug, you are a wearable blanket, you are a fanny pack, you are a long cardigan, you are the thing that I can always wear with minimal preparation and maximal enjoyment.
O robe, you are truly my most valued garment.